Another Nimbuzz story

Nimbuzz.

A chatting facility that I have joined for quite sometime. It has given me many friends. most of them are strangers, some of them are old friends. It gives me good friends. People come and go. Some have great impression, some are disappointing, some are rude. Many kinds of people's characters are here. But in the end, only best people stay.

In this post, I wanna quote one episode in my nimbuzz life. I happened to visit one of the chatrooms Last Sunday. In that chatroom, there was a guy who said :

Guy : hi. I'm from UK. 38.
Me : hi dazz of UK

then suddenly he asked me to chat in private.

Guy : hi. asl?
Me : Lol. Indonesia
Guy : age?
Me : 33. Lol
Guy : I'm looking for a wife from asia
Me : really?
Guy : yea. I really like asian women.
Me : Lol
Me : people are lying at the chatroom
Guy : yea I know. but I'm genuine. you can ask me anything and I'll not lie
Me : Lol. wow, genuineness is a very rare thing nowadays. ok.
Me : my first guestion is
Me : how much do you earn in a year?
Guy : 12000pounds
Me : Lol. I thought you're gonna be mad being asked about that
Guy : Lol
Me : what do you do for a living?
Guy : I'm a cab driver
Me : why cab driver?
Guy : I love driving, and being a driver allows me to know a lot of people
Me : hummm...ok

Then I forgot what else I asked him.

Me : you know what I'm feeling now?
Guy : what is it?
Me : I'm feeling like an interviewer. Lol
Guy : Lol. So do I pass to be a husband?
Me : Lol. only if you're a muslim =))
Guy : oh. guess I failed on that.
Me : =))
Guy : hey, have you ever considered of having a boyfriend from UK?
Me : Lol
Me : I'm not looking for a boyfriend, I'm looking for a muslim husband.
Guy : well then, I guess I must say goodbye now.
Me : bye =))
Guy : bye

Lol...

What a conversation!

FYI, this conversation is in the exact words, although it has the same essential.

My Man. You.

My man. You.
As humble as you are.
As understanding as you are.
As patient as you are.
As decisive as you are.

My man. You.
As loving as you are.
As affectionate as you are.
As passionate as you are.
As gentle as you are.

My man. You.
The one who will guide me.
The one who will lead me. to the right path.
The one who will remind me when I slip to the wrong path.
The one who will build me a beautiful house in heaven.
For both of us. and our offspring.

My man. You.
As humble as you are.
As passionate as you are.

Yes. It's you. :-))

* Gasps * People DO change..

Do people change?
Do people really change?

They do.

Harsh. But they do. I do. You do. All of us do. * sighs *

We don't realize why and how we change, though. Sometimes we don't realize it until other people tell us.

I realize it. Now.

I did have great friends in the past. We did things that we thought really mattered at those times. Not as crazy things as I expected, though..but It DID mean a lot for us.

Looking back at those times...

Well...seems like, what we did in the past..things we did in the past are not that important anymore when I look at it now. The things that I've been through. The many people who come and go in my life. The different surrounding I am in.

They make me change. I guess it's all crap when people think that they don't change.

But one thing I hope for sure..

Whatever changes I made for my life..I want it for my own better me. * grins *

while at yogya-part 2

Yogyakarta...a city of art and all traditions. A city where there are kings..and queens...and princes...and princesses...




One traditional menu (not) from Yogyakarta, and it is called Soto Banjar. Don't ask about the taste. It's YUMMY...*grin*..




nice, eh?




Another sight of the back..




The stairs to the second floor - leads to the art exhibition - at the back of the Vredeburg.




The Oldy goldy bikes....




Posing with the onthels ( old bicycles ).

while at Yogya...

Another spot inside the port



Beringharjo Market on the background




The cool spot on the second floor




The first building on the right



The Vredeburg Port



There was a kind of art exhibition inside Vredeburg Port - a kind of port from the Dutch colony era in Yogyakarta - the name was FKY ( Festival Kesenian Yogya ).

ONE HORRIBLE NIGHT

August 15, 2007

Lemme tell u ‘bout my last night’s experience…

Last night was my schedule to come to my private student’s house in Pudak Payung. FYI, Pudak Payung is soooooo… far away from my house, if you go there from my house you have to take approximately 40 minutes, and from Tembalang around 10-15 minutes. In short, people think that I was a bit crazy to take that private student. Including my little brother, well he wouldn’t complain if the fee was higher than what I got now ( he is the one who has to ride me there, he thinks that with that amount of money, the journey to Pudak Payung isn’t worth doing. He deserves to complain, though J )Uh, well..I have my own reason.

Anyway…

I got off LIA Tembalang at around 7 P.M. the journey was fine, but when we arrived at my student’s house my little brother felt there was something wrong with our motorbike’s back tire, but he wasn’t so sure ‘bout it, so after dropping me off, he continued his journey to my auntie’s house in Gedang Asri (a housing complex roundabout Ungaran).

He picked me up at around 9. Fifty meters from my student’s house, suddenly he told me that we had flat tire, right at the back tire he sensed earlier. Uh, well..I was a bit shocked, but I remained calm, no need to get panicky because of that. We walked with our motorbike, while wondering where we could find a tire man (you know what I mean).

Here comes the most frightening moment…

I have a traumatic experience with dogs..

We arrived to an intersection. There were lots of dogs ( roundabout 6, I presume ) right in the middle of the intersection. My heart was pounding bit by bit, I knew that to get to the other way, we needed to pass those horrible dogs ( they look hungry in my eyes). We asked people from that neighborhood if they happened to now if there was tire man nearby. And as Indonesian normally do, they deliberately informed us that there was a tire man on the main street, we only had to turn right a bit, went up, got to the main street, and made another right turn.

To do that, of course we had to pass those terrible horrible frightening dogs. My little brother left me just like that, I was very frightened to start walking. The gentlemen tried to comfort me by saying “ Hey, it’s okay..just ignore them, and keep moving “. In my heart, I grumbled “ How could I become so calm in front of those fierce faces? “

I think those dogs could sense my fear. They started barking, when I glanced, I could swear that some of them were ready to chase me. OMG, I was so scared I could barely move, but I tried not to run, because I knew if I ran they would think that I were their bait, so I kept moving. It turned out that I took the wrong side which made me had to go farther to reach the right way, and I didn’t have a gut to cross the street. Finally, one of the gentlemen decided to help me by assisting me to my destination. My legs were trembling when I reached the street. My brother was waiting for me on the half way to the top (it was rather a steep street). I stopped for a while to comfort my shaking legs, then I started moving. I was angry with my brother to leave me with those dogs ( how I hate them so much ). He said he had to move fast because of the steep way ( he was the one who had to walk with our motorbike ), if he walked slowly he would be much more exhausted. I understood and I forgave him. The dogs were not a matter anymore anyway.

The journey continued….

We reached the top of the street, and made a right turn. We had to walk up again, we couldn’t see any tire men nearby. We kept moving, and I was wondering if we could finally find one of them. After several minutes walking, I saw a tire man stand across the street, but guess what? It was closed!!

We kept walking until we find kind of factory or office I didn’t quite notice, and my brother asked me to ask a security guard in that building. I asked him, and he answered we could find a tire man before the gas station ( still in Pudak Payung ). Again, we walked up ( I couldn’t imagine how tired my brother was). Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah, finally we found Mr. Tire man right after Payung Asri Hotel. You couldn’t imagine how grateful I was to find our savior.

But again, we couldn’t go home earlier, the tire man couldn’t find the problem easily, when he was finished with one hole, and he tried to put the inner tire inside the outer tire, it seemed that it couldn’t get done. After several attempts, finally it could be done. Time : 23: 20. We hurried home, and because it was already late, there were only one or two vehicles passed the street, so we could arrived home fast. Time : 23:45. What a night!

Am I Somewhat A Commitmentphobic? lol

Long long time ago...
when I was in junior High school, a friend of mine used to say that I am a kind of person who is not easy to deal with. I like to come closer to someone, but when the person wants to get closer to me, I run away.

I was not a very friendly person, now that I remember that. I was always showing an uptight facial expression to everybody, not that I did it on purpose. That made me sort of isolated from society and lack of friends, let alone guys. I never showed any interested face on them.

I was raised by my aunt and uncle, my father's big sister. She is, was, a kind of person who couldn't express her love openly. She was not the kind of person who liked to hug, or kiss to express her love. She was not the kind of person who can not say " verra honey" or "verra, my love". Nope! She was definitely not that kind of person. What she was carrying on was somewhat affected on me. I grew up like her. I can not express my affection towards people. It's not that I don't love people around me. I do. But it's very hard to express my feeling to them through action or words. When people get closer to me and they show too much attention or affection I would withdraw myself, consciously or unconsciously.

Guys are afraid of me.

There were many occasions when people around me said :

1. " My friends are afraid of you..." said my big bro, but then he continued..."but when they know u better, they said that you are Ok..
2. " My friends are afraid of you..." said my little brother.
3. " There will be some guy who will say that he likes you..if only you open your eyes.." said one of my neighbors ( no one had a dare to say that to me eventually )
4. " There will be some guy who likes you..just wait and see.." said my college friend asuringly ( in the end...no one had a gut to come closer to me..) :-))

And now....
I am feeling like withdrawing myself again...

There is a guy I met at a cyber world. He is much younger than me. Like...12 years younger - he just turned 20 this month - He is a nice person. A bit naive. And I can tell that he is not a really social person. He is smart. He likes to think big, I mean, his interest in social matters and also religion are huge. We like to talk about anything...music..movies..anything. I like him. He considers himself as my devoted student. He listens to me. What surprises me so much is that he is very sensitive for a guy. Oh! FYI, he is an Indian. And by the way, I have known him for almost a year now. Anyways..I have a facebook account. I invited him to be one of my friends. He confirmed. But then..there is something that slightly annoyed me...that was when he likes to comment on my status at facebook...I don't feel right. It seems like...he is trying to be involved in my personal matter. Yet, I couldn't tell him. I don't wanna hurt his feeling. I tried to avoid him by writing my status in Bahasa Indonesia ( Indonesian language ), but sometimes..he likes to dropped a comment, too..although he doesn't understand the language. I feel like...I have been invaded..I feel like I wanna withdraw myself from him...Actually I am sort of avoiding him right now...but I don't wanna hurt his feeling...Actually...if he doesn't try to be closer to me, maybe..just maybe..I wouldn't feel this way. This is likely uncomfortable..

Once...one of my friends said...
" I know that people change..but I don't want you to change..I want you to be just the same like you used to be with me...and love me like you used to be..because I do ... "
That sentences...made me stepped back for many hundred steps...
Since then on...I disappeared from her life...

Am I somewhat a commitmentphobic?