Nimbuzz.
A chatting facility that I have joined for quite sometime. It has given me many friends. most of them are strangers, some of them are old friends. It gives me good friends. People come and go. Some have great impression, some are disappointing, some are rude. Many kinds of people's characters are here. But in the end, only best people stay.
In this post, I wanna quote one episode in my nimbuzz life. I happened to visit one of the chatrooms Last Sunday. In that chatroom, there was a guy who said :
Guy : hi. I'm from UK. 38.
Me : hi dazz of UK
then suddenly he asked me to chat in private.
Guy : hi. asl?
Me : Lol. Indonesia
Guy : age?
Me : 33. Lol
Guy : I'm looking for a wife from asia
Me : really?
Guy : yea. I really like asian women.
Me : Lol
Me : people are lying at the chatroom
Guy : yea I know. but I'm genuine. you can ask me anything and I'll not lie
Me : Lol. wow, genuineness is a very rare thing nowadays. ok.
Me : my first guestion is
Me : how much do you earn in a year?
Guy : 12000pounds
Me : Lol. I thought you're gonna be mad being asked about that
Guy : Lol
Me : what do you do for a living?
Guy : I'm a cab driver
Me : why cab driver?
Guy : I love driving, and being a driver allows me to know a lot of people
Me : hummm...ok
Then I forgot what else I asked him.
Me : you know what I'm feeling now?
Guy : what is it?
Me : I'm feeling like an interviewer. Lol
Guy : Lol. So do I pass to be a husband?
Me : Lol. only if you're a muslim =))
Guy : oh. guess I failed on that.
Me : =))
Guy : hey, have you ever considered of having a boyfriend from UK?
Me : Lol
Me : I'm not looking for a boyfriend, I'm looking for a muslim husband.
Guy : well then, I guess I must say goodbye now.
Me : bye =))
Guy : bye
Lol...
What a conversation!
FYI, this conversation is in the exact words, although it has the same essential.
Monday, 26 April 2010
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
* Gasps * People DO change..
Do people change?
Do people really change?
They do.
Harsh. But they do. I do. You do. All of us do. * sighs *
We don't realize why and how we change, though. Sometimes we don't realize it until other people tell us.
I realize it. Now.
I did have great friends in the past. We did things that we thought really mattered at those times. Not as crazy things as I expected, though..but It DID mean a lot for us.
Looking back at those times...
Well...seems like, what we did in the past..things we did in the past are not that important anymore when I look at it now. The things that I've been through. The many people who come and go in my life. The different surrounding I am in.
They make me change. I guess it's all crap when people think that they don't change.
But one thing I hope for sure..
Whatever changes I made for my life..I want it for my own better me. * grins *
Do people really change?
They do.
Harsh. But they do. I do. You do. All of us do. * sighs *
We don't realize why and how we change, though. Sometimes we don't realize it until other people tell us.
I realize it. Now.
I did have great friends in the past. We did things that we thought really mattered at those times. Not as crazy things as I expected, though..but It DID mean a lot for us.
Looking back at those times...
Well...seems like, what we did in the past..things we did in the past are not that important anymore when I look at it now. The things that I've been through. The many people who come and go in my life. The different surrounding I am in.
They make me change. I guess it's all crap when people think that they don't change.
But one thing I hope for sure..
Whatever changes I made for my life..I want it for my own better me. * grins *
Sunday, 9 August 2009
Am I Somewhat A Commitmentphobic? lol
Long long time ago...
when I was in junior High school, a friend of mine used to say that I am a kind of person who is not easy to deal with. I like to come closer to someone, but when the person wants to get closer to me, I run away.
I was not a very friendly person, now that I remember that. I was always showing an uptight facial expression to everybody, not that I did it on purpose. That made me sort of isolated from society and lack of friends, let alone guys. I never showed any interested face on them.
I was raised by my aunt and uncle, my father's big sister. She is, was, a kind of person who couldn't express her love openly. She was not the kind of person who liked to hug, or kiss to express her love. She was not the kind of person who can not say " verra honey" or "verra, my love". Nope! She was definitely not that kind of person. What she was carrying on was somewhat affected on me. I grew up like her. I can not express my affection towards people. It's not that I don't love people around me. I do. But it's very hard to express my feeling to them through action or words. When people get closer to me and they show too much attention or affection I would withdraw myself, consciously or unconsciously.
Guys are afraid of me.
There were many occasions when people around me said :
1. " My friends are afraid of you..." said my big bro, but then he continued..."but when they know u better, they said that you are Ok..
2. " My friends are afraid of you..." said my little brother.
3. " There will be some guy who will say that he likes you..if only you open your eyes.." said one of my neighbors ( no one had a dare to say that to me eventually )
4. " There will be some guy who likes you..just wait and see.." said my college friend asuringly ( in the end...no one had a gut to come closer to me..) :-))
And now....
I am feeling like withdrawing myself again...
There is a guy I met at a cyber world. He is much younger than me. Like...12 years younger - he just turned 20 this month - He is a nice person. A bit naive. And I can tell that he is not a really social person. He is smart. He likes to think big, I mean, his interest in social matters and also religion are huge. We like to talk about anything...music..movies..anything. I like him. He considers himself as my devoted student. He listens to me. What surprises me so much is that he is very sensitive for a guy. Oh! FYI, he is an Indian. And by the way, I have known him for almost a year now. Anyways..I have a facebook account. I invited him to be one of my friends. He confirmed. But then..there is something that slightly annoyed me...that was when he likes to comment on my status at facebook...I don't feel right. It seems like...he is trying to be involved in my personal matter. Yet, I couldn't tell him. I don't wanna hurt his feeling. I tried to avoid him by writing my status in Bahasa Indonesia ( Indonesian language ), but sometimes..he likes to dropped a comment, too..although he doesn't understand the language. I feel like...I have been invaded..I feel like I wanna withdraw myself from him...Actually I am sort of avoiding him right now...but I don't wanna hurt his feeling...Actually...if he doesn't try to be closer to me, maybe..just maybe..I wouldn't feel this way. This is likely uncomfortable..
Once...one of my friends said...
" I know that people change..but I don't want you to change..I want you to be just the same like you used to be with me...and love me like you used to be..because I do ... "
That sentences...made me stepped back for many hundred steps...
Since then on...I disappeared from her life...
Am I somewhat a commitmentphobic?
when I was in junior High school, a friend of mine used to say that I am a kind of person who is not easy to deal with. I like to come closer to someone, but when the person wants to get closer to me, I run away.
I was not a very friendly person, now that I remember that. I was always showing an uptight facial expression to everybody, not that I did it on purpose. That made me sort of isolated from society and lack of friends, let alone guys. I never showed any interested face on them.
I was raised by my aunt and uncle, my father's big sister. She is, was, a kind of person who couldn't express her love openly. She was not the kind of person who liked to hug, or kiss to express her love. She was not the kind of person who can not say " verra honey" or "verra, my love". Nope! She was definitely not that kind of person. What she was carrying on was somewhat affected on me. I grew up like her. I can not express my affection towards people. It's not that I don't love people around me. I do. But it's very hard to express my feeling to them through action or words. When people get closer to me and they show too much attention or affection I would withdraw myself, consciously or unconsciously.
Guys are afraid of me.
There were many occasions when people around me said :
1. " My friends are afraid of you..." said my big bro, but then he continued..."but when they know u better, they said that you are Ok..
2. " My friends are afraid of you..." said my little brother.
3. " There will be some guy who will say that he likes you..if only you open your eyes.." said one of my neighbors ( no one had a dare to say that to me eventually )
4. " There will be some guy who likes you..just wait and see.." said my college friend asuringly ( in the end...no one had a gut to come closer to me..) :-))
And now....
I am feeling like withdrawing myself again...
There is a guy I met at a cyber world. He is much younger than me. Like...12 years younger - he just turned 20 this month - He is a nice person. A bit naive. And I can tell that he is not a really social person. He is smart. He likes to think big, I mean, his interest in social matters and also religion are huge. We like to talk about anything...music..movies..anything. I like him. He considers himself as my devoted student. He listens to me. What surprises me so much is that he is very sensitive for a guy. Oh! FYI, he is an Indian. And by the way, I have known him for almost a year now. Anyways..I have a facebook account. I invited him to be one of my friends. He confirmed. But then..there is something that slightly annoyed me...that was when he likes to comment on my status at facebook...I don't feel right. It seems like...he is trying to be involved in my personal matter. Yet, I couldn't tell him. I don't wanna hurt his feeling. I tried to avoid him by writing my status in Bahasa Indonesia ( Indonesian language ), but sometimes..he likes to dropped a comment, too..although he doesn't understand the language. I feel like...I have been invaded..I feel like I wanna withdraw myself from him...Actually I am sort of avoiding him right now...but I don't wanna hurt his feeling...Actually...if he doesn't try to be closer to me, maybe..just maybe..I wouldn't feel this way. This is likely uncomfortable..
Once...one of my friends said...
" I know that people change..but I don't want you to change..I want you to be just the same like you used to be with me...and love me like you used to be..because I do ... "
That sentences...made me stepped back for many hundred steps...
Since then on...I disappeared from her life...
Am I somewhat a commitmentphobic?
Monday, 28 July 2008
Marriage
Technically, marriage means that two people, man an woman, are gathered by the holy matrimony. After doing some rituals, they will be legal to each other. they are legal in both eyes, nation's eyes, and religion's eyes.
Not so long ago, a friend of mine asked me if my folks are being so fussy about me being still single in my age now. FYI, I'm 31, going to 32. And single.
I told her quite frankly, that my parents never confronted me with such thing like that. Not that they don't care about my well being. I knot they do. I also know that they will never do such thing like pushing me or being so fussy about my marriage plan (just yet) ;p
I, myself, am still quite comfortable with my condition. If someone asks me " Don't you want to get married, considering your age, now?"
I will be answering "Well, to some extent, I can't tell"
What I mean is, right now I'm OK with myself. I'm OK with my being husbandless or childless. Well the part of childless is not quite right. I wanna children of my own, but to have children requires husband, doesn't it? It's really confusing..^_^
What can I say?
In our society, when you reach a certain kind of age, let's say, 23 up, people will expect you to be married. They will start being fussy when you reach 25, fussier when you reach 30, and much fussier when you reach 35.
Do I care about it?
Lucky me, my closest people don't belong to the fussy ones. Since they never cornered me with the obligation to get married in my age now, I'm doing fine.
Some people had asked me the question, though. "When are you going to tie the knot?" "Don't forget to invite me when you get married, will you?" Arrrrrgghhh....
Usually, my answer is very sweet. I will say "Soon. Pray for me, will you?"
Funny thing happened, when I had a chat with someone through a chatting facility at the internet.
Buddy : Hi
Ve : Hi
Buddy : Asl?
Ve : u 1st
Buddy : 28M
Ve : me 31F
Buddy : wow
Ve : yeah
Buddy : ar u muslim?
Ve : yeah
Ve : and proud of it
Buddy : me too
Buddy : married?
Ve : nope
Ve : still single
Ve : why?
Buddy : Why aren't you married?
Buddy : u ar 31 already
Ve : So what if I'm 31
(irritated)
Buddy : don't u want to get married?
Ve : do I need to get married?
Buddy : What?
Buddy : U said dat u ar a muslim, right?
Ve : yeah, then?
Buddy : U know dat getting married is a must for a muslim
Ve : So?
Buddy : So..
Buddy : come back 2 my que
Buddy : why aren't u married?
Whoaaa...!!!
Capee deee.....!!!!!
"Do I need a husband now?"
I'm getting married one day. Dunno when.
But, if I ask myself, " do I really really need a husband now? "
The answer is....
Dunno...
For me, marriage or being married isn't the answer of every question. Not that if you're married you'll reach the top of the world. Uh, maybe yes, for a while.
But for me, marriage means a whole lot of responsibilities. Getting married, then be ready with all the risks, the challenges, the struggle..
Am I prepared with that? Won't I be screwing it up? Do I dare to take a chance?
I believe that GOD has prepared someone for me out there. I dunno when HE will meet me with that person. But I don't need to rush anything. Maybe HE just wait until I'm ready...
Till then, I'm happy with myself now...
Not so long ago, a friend of mine asked me if my folks are being so fussy about me being still single in my age now. FYI, I'm 31, going to 32. And single.
I told her quite frankly, that my parents never confronted me with such thing like that. Not that they don't care about my well being. I knot they do. I also know that they will never do such thing like pushing me or being so fussy about my marriage plan (just yet) ;p
I, myself, am still quite comfortable with my condition. If someone asks me " Don't you want to get married, considering your age, now?"
I will be answering "Well, to some extent, I can't tell"
What I mean is, right now I'm OK with myself. I'm OK with my being husbandless or childless. Well the part of childless is not quite right. I wanna children of my own, but to have children requires husband, doesn't it? It's really confusing..^_^
What can I say?
In our society, when you reach a certain kind of age, let's say, 23 up, people will expect you to be married. They will start being fussy when you reach 25, fussier when you reach 30, and much fussier when you reach 35.
Do I care about it?
Lucky me, my closest people don't belong to the fussy ones. Since they never cornered me with the obligation to get married in my age now, I'm doing fine.
Some people had asked me the question, though. "When are you going to tie the knot?" "Don't forget to invite me when you get married, will you?" Arrrrrgghhh....
Usually, my answer is very sweet. I will say "Soon. Pray for me, will you?"
Funny thing happened, when I had a chat with someone through a chatting facility at the internet.
Buddy : Hi
Ve : Hi
Buddy : Asl?
Ve : u 1st
Buddy : 28M
Ve : me 31F
Buddy : wow
Ve : yeah
Buddy : ar u muslim?
Ve : yeah
Ve : and proud of it
Buddy : me too
Buddy : married?
Ve : nope
Ve : still single
Ve : why?
Buddy : Why aren't you married?
Buddy : u ar 31 already
Ve : So what if I'm 31
(irritated)
Buddy : don't u want to get married?
Ve : do I need to get married?
Buddy : What?
Buddy : U said dat u ar a muslim, right?
Ve : yeah, then?
Buddy : U know dat getting married is a must for a muslim
Ve : So?
Buddy : So..
Buddy : come back 2 my que
Buddy : why aren't u married?
Whoaaa...!!!
Capee deee.....!!!!!
"Do I need a husband now?"
I'm getting married one day. Dunno when.
But, if I ask myself, " do I really really need a husband now? "
The answer is....
Dunno...
For me, marriage or being married isn't the answer of every question. Not that if you're married you'll reach the top of the world. Uh, maybe yes, for a while.
But for me, marriage means a whole lot of responsibilities. Getting married, then be ready with all the risks, the challenges, the struggle..
Am I prepared with that? Won't I be screwing it up? Do I dare to take a chance?
I believe that GOD has prepared someone for me out there. I dunno when HE will meet me with that person. But I don't need to rush anything. Maybe HE just wait until I'm ready...
Till then, I'm happy with myself now...
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